Faber Members get 10% off their first order

Conflicted: Why Arguments Are Tearing Us Apart and How They Can Bring Us Together

Ian Leslie

Ian Leslie’s acclaimed new book reveals the secrets of how to disagree without fighting, and shows how mastering the techniques of productive disagreement can transform every aspect of our lives.

Date Published
All orders are sent via Royal Mail and are tracked: choose from standard or premium delivery.


Bringing valuable lessons from the cutting edge of communication science, Conflicted does for our verbal communication what Thinking Fast and Slow did for our inner decision-making.

‘One of my favourite writers . . . Beautifully argued, desperately needed.’

‘Invaluable. The world will be a better place if everyone reads this book, and because it’s so entertaining they probably will.’

‘Essential.’ THE TIMES
‘Fascinating.’ FINANCIAL TIMES

What is the secret of happy relationships?

How do companies build collaborative cultures?

What lies behind some of the greatest scientific and creative breakthroughs?

The surprising answer is: conflict

Insight and empathy spring from the clash of different perspectives. In a world where it’s easier than ever for people to share their opinions, we should be reaping the benefits of diverse views. Instead, we too often find ourselves mired in hostility or – worse – avoiding disagreement altogether. Ian Leslie argues that this is because most of us never learn how to air our differences in a way that leads to progress.

Conflicted draws essential lessons on how to disagree well from world-class experts: interrogators, hostage negotiators, divorce mediators, diplomats and addiction counsellors. It tells inspiring stories of productive disagreements, from the invention of the aeroplane to the success of The Rolling Stones, and combines them with fascinating insights from the science of human communication.

Whether it’s at work, at home, or in public, confronting our differences is the only way to make the most of them. Conflicted is about how to do that successfully.

‘A cool bath of sanity in a world of frenzied hot takes.’

‘Perspective-shifting in important ways.’

Critic Reviews

One of my favourite writers . . . Beautifully argued. Desperately needed.

Malcolm Gladwell
Critic Reviews

Invaluable. The world will be a better place if everyone reads this book, and because it's so entertaining they probably will.

Philippa Perry
Critic Reviews

Perspective-shifting in important ways.

Oliver Burkeman
Critic Reviews

Ian Leslie's writing is a cool bath of sanity in a world of frenzied hot takes.

Helen Lewis, Sunday Times bestselling author of DIFFICULT WOMEN
Critic Reviews

What a brilliant idea . . . to help us engage in dialogue by learning how to disagree. Ian Leslie is a master at this sort of book and it shows here.

Daniel Finkelstein, author of EVERYTHING IN MODERATION
Critic Reviews

Ian Leslie is one of our most brilliant science writers, and Conflicted is his best yet. It's full of wisdom and surprise and is exactly what we need in a world where disagreement itself feels like it's coming under threat.

Will Storr, author of SELFIE

Ian Leslie is a journalist and author of two acclaimed books on human behaviour, Born Liars, and Curious. His first career was in advertising, where he worked as a strategist for some of the world’s biggest brands at ad agencies in London and New York. He now counsels business leaders on communication and writes about psychology, technology, politics and business for the New…

Read More