Faber & Faber

Amongst my recent mail I received a lovely letter from ten-year-old A.H. in which she writes about having done a school report on STINKING RICH AND JUST PLAIN STINKY. She even included this fabulous extract: “You can laugh at the Grumbly girls, faint at the stench of Manual Org and go in a flabbergasted voice, ‘Well, I didn’t know [...]

Beloved readers, forgive me for not wishing you a happy 2010 on 1st January itself. I have failed you and will never forgive myself. So, six days later — on Twelfth Night — let me take this opportunity to remind you to take down all your Christmas decorations before midnight (if you put any up [...]

No, the heading to this entry aren’t my words but those used in a headline profiling me in this week’s Times Educational Supplement, brought to my attention by Mary Page from East Sussex Schools Library & Museum Service (which doesn’t appear to have an apostrophe in it). Thanks for that, Mary! It’s a really well-balanced piece [...]

The space below is reserved for ‘What I Did In My Christmas Holidays’ and will soon be filled by my team of ghostwriters. In the meantime: SEASON’S GREETINGS!

This picture is taken from an UPSTAIRS window. That’s deep!

It’s just a week since my knee op and I’m not quite as mobile as I hoped I would be. This has to do with the shonky ankle on the foot of my other leg, and the heavy snow we’ve had lately. It’s hard enough to get around in this snow and ice if you have two [...]

The Christmas tree is up, but what a palaver. I always get my tree from the same wood but after it’s closed to the public for the day, because I know the forester and like to choose my tree away from the public’s gaze. Unfortunately, Toto forgot to bring the wire-cutters so we had to [...]

As those of you who know me –or have been following my antics over the years — will be well aware, I am not only an award-winning and internationally best-selling children’s author but am also an extraordinarily gifted athlete and dancer. I admit that I’ve put on weight recently, but this is a part of [...]

Today, my assistant Dotty Hendrix tells me, is the first day of Hanukkah, and I know that it’s also two weeks until Christmas. If all goes according to plan, this time in two weeks I’ll have served up the HUMONGUOS turkey and the Fortnum & mason’s Christmas pudding — not at the same time — [...]

Look. I’m sorry. I’ve been very busy lately and relying on my beard to keep this blog updated… and , now that I finally get around to reading what he’s written, I find that the answer is a big fat zero. [Question: If zero is nothing can it ever actually be big and fat or small a slim [...]